Sticking Where God Said to Go

 I've probably posted about this before but the story continues. 

Sun.,Sept. 25, 2022, I had planned to go to a church 4 miles from where I live. Half way through getting ready, I clearly heard, "Go to Mansfield." I knew the church that God was talking about. But I didn't know the name if it or the address. I argued that the drive is 25 miles one way, that I hate driving that far for anything in a regular basis, that I only know one person at that church, that I'm gonna be late. I hate going where I've never been. But He kept saying those three words, "Go to Mansfield."

Then I get a text from the person I had planned to meet with at the church 4 miles away that they would not be going to church that morning. Okay God, I get the picture.

I've been so touched every time I enter that place. I'm changing, learning, and on an exponential healing trajectory. I've been in tears every single time that I go. 

I've attended every week without even a desire to argue against going. This is a complete opposite of the previous 14 years.

Since the closing of the church I was attending in 2008, I've had every excuse imaginable for not going. I've visited and had a few times of attending consecutive services at various churches during that time. But the connection wasn't happening. I even went back to the previous church that my closed church had been planted out of, nothing. I hate the thought of church hopping, so I didn't. I thought the lack of connection was due to distance of so many of the places I attended. But there wasn't a connection 1 mile away either. I didn't feel like I fit in. Like I had to meet certain expectations to fit. Like i had to dress a certain way. (Honestly by Sunday I just want to be in a t-shirt and jeans.) Some churches I would walk in, be there the entire service and walk out meeting nobody. I think they were so big they didn't know I was new. Others I walked in, one or two would say hello but nothing further. Others I would walk in, initiate conversation but still nothing further, other than they would immediately want me to be involved in things I had no desire to be involved in. Primarily kids ministry. "Oh you're a teacher, . . . ." "Yes, but I'm doing that 5 to 6 days a week. I'm exhausted, done. Little ones are exhausting. I know! I have little nieces!" And Sunday is my day to rest after working 50, 60, or even 70 hrs a week, so sometimes I need sleep, not another alarm to get up early enough to be somewhere preparing to teach. 

So I've landed in a church 25 miles away. A few connections are happening. I still don't know everybody. I've worn a t-shirt and jeans since day 1. And nobody has had anything negative to say about it. I don't feel like I'm in "high church" where you're gawked at if you don't wear the "appropriate attire". (I hate clothes shopping. I need help.) I don't have to work with the kids unless I want to. Every single time I've had a meaningful conversation with somebody. Things are reciprocal. I'm allowed to be a part of the clean up even if I didn't sign up. People give and take hugs! I'm being challenged and growing as a result.

This church is not like any I've ever been in. No pyramid to try to work towards the top to be somebody. No groups that you are "band" from being part of just because you're not part of that click.

Have I agreed with everything? NO! I don't think such a place exists. But they're okay with my not agreeing. They're not going to kick me out. There is a respectful agree to disagree. I still get to be part of the family, not just a side kick.

Besides, God said, "Go to Mansfield." And until He tells me different, that's where I am. And I'm going to do what He's telling me to do. And I'm going to say what He tells me to say. And along the way, I'm endeavoring to say and do nothing more and nothing less.